I was drawn to this subject when somebody asked on a forum whether they should apply for a show. Knowing (I hope so!) after fifteen years of doing craft shows, one would start to understand the lingo of advertisers and promoters. I'm talking about the
big words, ladies and gentlemen. The big words I'm referring to aren't scientific or in latin, or even look nice and scholarly on paper. I'm talking about the ones that are supposed to reel you in like that guy from the past you saw on your TV screen. He's the one who'd wear that ten gallon Stetson hat, the graying mustache, rhinestones, and he'd stand right next to a Datsun or Yugo. His spiel would awe you! Or would it? Do you buy a car because of false promises? Vote in an election due to what is said? (Don't answer that, this is only hypothetical.) Maybe not. So, why would a promoter or advertiser think a vendor would be interested in fluffy words like "great" "hits" "website" "advertising" "weeks" or anything that might look shiny and neat? It's because they know with these words, a craft vendor will be seduced in wanting to fork over a nonsensical amount of money for what little that show has to offer. That shiny and neat show is in its first year. Where is their research of calling it
great if it hasn't even happened yet?
"This show is guaranteed to be a success because our website has had over 90,000 hits! We've advertised at the general store, liquor store, and that bitty spot above 'plumbers wanted' on the wall at the super market for three weeks so far."
Let me count the ways this is sooooo wrong.
Your show ain't gonna be a success because those 90,000 people just wanted something to look at while their meatloaf was baking in the oven. The husband came across it while searching for his favorite triple X -rated website and was deeply disappointed. Somebody googled a general description and found the promotion words, but not the right city. Those hits can add up. It doesn't mean 90,000 people will visit the promoted show. A first-time promoter would have to put in a heap of money to advertise and get that many visitors (never mind customers) to drop by their rented warehouse barely seen from a highway due to all the trees covering it. Oh, and advertising at the general store, liquor store, and/or super market won't do you any good. People don't pay any attention at a general store. They need general items. That's it. A liquor store? Isn't the choice between Budweiser, Sam Adams, or Miller enough? Never mind the bajillion types of wine that could make your head spin faster than Linda Blair's in
The Exorcist. Grocery store? The list said milk and eggs. Ah, but that reputable plumber will come in handy! The taped on piece of paper advertising the craft show for the warehouse are seen by only a few set of eyes. Then the tape wears away, causing the paper to be imbedded by footprints and lint filled tape. Nobody looks then. Let's not forget the much ballyhooed pronouncement of three weeks. It sounds nice, but like I said, not many people will care. Human beings have the brain span of gnats! They...we (myself included) have such busy lives. People need signs in front of them THE SAME DAY as the show.
So, there is no need for promoters or advertisers to talk about how many hits they get on a website, how many weeks they've advertised in no-man's land, or try and talk you out of that $200 for the show your friends said was terrific because it's in its 37th year but you chose the $150 show because 90,000 people were checking out the internet.
I like peanut butter, but please hold the fluff.
